Nothing Much

Nothing much, just pouring and venting and throwing~ I cant be alone in this meantime, too many to think. Things that shouldnt be thought of~!

Its bothering and making me feel full with it. Hope to throw it away. Away and away....

The feeling that i am having now...

I hate this feeling. The feeling where you have given all, 100%of your energy, emotion and all but lastly,it turns to 180 degrees! Feels like hating, full of regret but i cannot!

There are always doors to be opened and another room to start another thing.. adios amihgosss...

Last Day Holiday

Today is sunday and i am NOT looking forward for tomorrow. After a long holiday of hari raya week, i think i did not get enough holiday. hahaha... greedy rite? memang greedy.

A summary of this time holiday. I went to my fiance's hometown, getting used of kampung living. memang berbeza with my lifesytle. I thought i am kampung enough... huhu... I had fun! We went to his ladang kelapa sawit. Uih.... u cannot imagine how big the plantaytion is and how hard it is to work as a pekebun kelapa sawit... aduih... i have to walk about 1.6 km to reach the place. Aih, kereta pun cannot go through...

On the last day, i 'soak' myself in the river... biarpun air sungai tidak la sederas mana sbb kemarau...tapi best jugak la.. haha..

A week there... good experience actually.. boleh berkenalan dgn lebih rapat with my bakal mentua.. hahaha.. gila...

*Random Writing*

Kenapa blogs sy semenjak dua menjak, dua-tiga bulan ni selalu bertemakan kesah2 sedih. Kebanyakkan la, bukan semua. Biar sy refleks balik napa jadi macam ni.

1) Semua adalah kerana sy dengan budu-budunya menerima jawatan 'warden asrama' yang mana pekerjaan ini adalah senang diluarnya tetapi sebenarnya amat mencabar mental dan emosi.

2) Semuanya adalah kerana kerja warden yg entah apa2 tah. sy sendiri bingung apa pekerjaan sy sebenarnya.

3) Biarpun gaji sy naik, akan tetapi sy tidak happy sebab entah mengapa. Sy nda mo juga gaji sy naik, tapi klu sda naik, apa bleh sy buat? Xkan mo tolak kan?

4) Sy mo brenti jadi warden akan tetapi telah ditahan beberapa kali disebabkan oleh nda mau mengaku kalah dan di atas sebab itu, sy pun menjadi bingung dan bimbang.

KESIMPULANNYA:

Sy mau brenti jadi warden akan tetapi ditahan. Disebabkan kerja ini sy menjadi depress dan tertekan (maksud sama). Entahlah, umur sy masih muda tetapi apa yang sedang sy hadapi ni jauh lebih kehadapan. Adui!

Sy pun xpasti, balik2 cakap mau brenti tp ada seja yg menghalang. Jerawat sy pun suda subur dibajai stress... alamak.. macam mana sy mo cantik ni??

ba, tidur duluan la, harap2 bangun besok pagi sy punya jerawat hilang dan muka sy berseri2 mcm baru mandi bunga. amen... haha.. gud nite la...

dari facbook notes

ehem- due to some responses i received, i'll change something in this note ya! have fun while reading this:

received a call from somebody saying that i am toturing the 'them'.

1) ada yg x mau pulang asrama sbb mulut sy.
2) sy buat gotong-royong waktu puasa
3) mulut sy jahat

my comments:

1) peduli apa sy ko xmau pulang, ko igt sy peduli. bangang!! peduli ko kn rogol d luar sana klu ko xmau dgr ckp sy~ u never know what is out there. ko cari alasan seja xmau pulang asrama lepas tu ko kasi salah sy yang hanya mengikut perintah tinggal di tpt tinggal kamu, so sy pun feels stupid sbb ikut arahan.

2) kamu 'semua' pengotor mcm 'pengemis'. kalau la bos2 nampak ice-box kamu yang ada ulat, aiskrim kamu yang ada darah dari daging, dia pun akan ada perasaan mcm sy. kamu tuutt yang bodo2 belaka! kes kecurian makanan semakin berleluasa, so apa kamu mo justice diri kamu? inda ka kamu bodo, dan pengotor tahap gaban?? tambahkan pahala dibulan puasa kan bagus? kamu ingat ada benda ka dalam ni dunia yg senang? ko igt mama dan bapa ko senang ka kasi besar ko! pakai utak sikit ah~!

3) mulut sepa lagi jahat, sy yang suruh kamu jangan mandi berkemban di parking lot sampai ada lelaki yang mengintai ka atau ada 'wakil kamu' yang cakap sy SIAL? lu pikir sendiri la wahai kamu2 yang 'bertuah'. kalau mulut sy jahat, lama suda sy komplen yang kamu tu ada yg keputusan tahap darjah enam tapi berlagak macam professor, ada yang kasi rosak air-con sbb on-off sesuka hati. ada yg jual body sbb mau duit, hey, sy belum tahap jahat mulut lagi k cakap LECTURER sy SIAL.

4) so, everybody, lets judge siapa yang jahat sebenarnya.

5) sy tidak mau berlagak baik, hey kamu, go to hell, sy suda tidak boleh tahan dengan karenah kamu yang mcm tin kosong. Bising tapi otak kosong~!

6) i did not give shit to my ownself ok!

7) sekian terima kasih. ISA sila la tangkap sy kalau apa yang saya cakap ni salah.

8) kepada sesiapa yang rasa tidak bersalah, tidak payah la terasa. tapi kalau kamu2 yang mmg buat salah tapi masih anggap kamu betul. memang betul la kamu PALUI!kalau sy boley sumpah kamu, sy sumpah jadi kereta yang paling mahal lepas tu sy bakar! kasi meletup biar hancur, puas hati sy. *ketawa setan dulu*

9) na, apa lagi sy mo cakap bila ada yang buat meeting, apa la kunun yang ko dapat buat?? aduhai, mmg la tin kosong.suda la bapa ko telefon sy maki2 sy, apahal hanya pasal ice box? ba, ko tanyala mana2 asrama yang dibenarkan bawa peti ais pg asrama. sy pun pernah tinggal asrama di semenanjung la, tongok!

10) kita tinguk sepa yang manang aa, sy suda ada keja, ko hanya menumpang ilmu. jangan ko anggap ko suda bahagia ya. sy boleh lari dengan ijazah yg sy ada, ko ada apa? SRP? laku lagi ka tu aa?? SPM yg 3kredit seja? bukan mo bangga diri la, sy xda huruf C o dalam sijil2 sy..ko manang la klu huruf F.

ba, sekian. kalau sy rajin nnt sy tambah lagi untuk hiburan ramai.

best regards,
joanitah!

One Month Anniversary~

09.09.09 - yaey!! i am celebrating my one month-anniversary. hihi..

We'll cherish the moment together. Praying hard and trying hard to make this relationship last forever. Well, for those who ever went through this stage should understand how hard it was to just simply make the relationship 'alive'.

Well, after four years struggling to make this come true, i can't tell you all how hard it was to face the ups and downs together. Being able to overcome the hardness and the bitterness of relationship is one kind of lesson that made us grew up strong in this bond. Arguing, shouting and a bit of disagrees are the following things that binds us tight.

No to forget, love each other is the most important thing! Love the weaknesses of each other, cheerish every moment together and love it! Doing things together, made the relationship tastes better than the year before.. :)

Our favourite past time, driving to no where with an endless chit-chatting, well for those out there might think that this habit is wasting of fuel and time but for us, this is the only way we can spend time together while moving around the 'world'. No wonder, our car is valuable even though it is only an old kancil i own from my brother. It has heard a lot of our story..

I just love spending time together with him, chit-chatting about anything (but no work talk) and sometimes just laugh out loud~! I simply love him and the way we spent our time together~

God bless us, amen.

Little by little~

hermph... actually i would like to put the lyric of one praise and worship song on this time blog but i cant find it..

It was a while since my last blog and i am finding any way to write and share something. well, it is not always busy-ness makes me not write but this time, i am lack of things to be shared here.

I am engaged, that is the reality since a week ago! A simple but yet will be remembered always event. A ceremony that will lead us to another stage of path way.. I am glad and in a same time, i am scared of the commitment and the future that i do not know. I have no idea what will it be next.

I recall the minutes before the arival of my future-fiance' (that time), i was very2 scared of what i felt that time. I was scared, i was unsure and i am in the same time feel happy with what i feel that time. I cried the minutes before, when he told me that he was not far from the venue.

I had a chat with one of my boss last few day, she told me that the feeling is scared that i am going 'away' from family and also afraid of what is next a.k.a future. Yep! That is the thing that i cannot justify that moment.

I am crying like i cannot stop it anyway! Samantha - one of my close friend also almost cry i think. she was also cant talk anymore for i am so nervous! haha...

well, i think that was the most remorable and touching moment that i will remember always in my life...

Thank God that U have made it.. thank You always for giving me that moment to be cheerish forever...